What?? Me?? Happy?? : )

San Marcos Fair is in town!!- look it up on the net!!

2008-04-27T14:33:00.003+12:00

Wow
So I thought I should look at my blog, and turns out I haven't posted since January!! I don't think anyone actually reads it anyways, but that's all good!! So, here's an update for the great big hole of cyberspace!!

Ok. I'm in Mexico now. Loving it heaps.
Working at the orphanage and also doing construction work 2 days a week which I love too!! :)
Have made some cool friends here, though unfortunately they are mostly all volunteers too and as it goes, most ppl go home at some point! So currently the best friend I have here is going to leave in June!! How sad! I will definitely miss her!!! And a couple of the other ppl will be leaving for summer, but will come back later in August/September. So, they won't be here, but then other ppl from the States or Canada will come down instead,so there'll still be ppl here to hang out with!! Always a nig turnover of ppl!!

Absolutely love the Mexican ppl, food, music and culture. I love the music! i guess some ppl ould tire of it quickly, even some Mexicans don't like it, but I do!! There's just something about it that I love when cars roll past - and instead of hiphop or rap blasting from their cars, it's ranchero or banda music - which cracks me up!!! :) Good times!! :)

Anyways, off i run now!!
Stay cool NZ!! :)

Less than 2 wks to go

2008-01-02T22:41:00.000+13:00

So, in less than 2 weeks I'm off to Mexico. That came rather quickly!!
I am going to Mexico on Jan 15th for a year. Not entirely sure what I've signed myself up for!! :)
I haven't really even thought of packing yet, which doesn't worry me at all (should it?) but my mum can't understand how I'm not so worried about it!!

Ah well, it'll be different to what I know and am used to, that's for sure!!
So I guess all I can say is 'watch this space...' (but don't hold your breath cos I hardly post here while I'm in the country so I don't know why it'd be any different out of it!!) :)

long time no see

2007-10-15T17:06:00.000+13:00

Wow!! I haven't been on here for so long - I actually almost forgot how to get in!! :) Oops! Ah well!!
I mainly use bebo - all cos my little brother wanted me to - and i kinda got a little addicted!

so, in case anyone reads this - this is what I'm up to now!!!:
-last week of uni starts today!!!!! yay!!
-maybe going on a labour wknd camp near Gore this wknd
-lots of uni work still to do
-only have one exam and it's on the last day of exams -ie, 15th nov
-will go to Hamilton and work for approx a month and a half
-Jan 15th - going to Mexico!! yeya!! -I'm going to work in an orphanage for the year
-should be studying for a fairly important test i have tomorrow!! :)

That's all for now!
Maybe I might post something at a later date about Mexico stuff - I'm pretty excited about it actually!! :) Yay!! :)

I really really need to be finishing off an assignment right now - hence the sudden desire to post!

2007-05-08T16:44:00.001+12:00

I want to post something of interest, something that I've been thinking lots about lately. But there's nothing.
I can look at the screen for ages and nothing comes.
Funny thing is -is my brain has been working overtime lately, really quite annoying!, but now that I want to pull something out of it - it is blank.
It laughs at me!!

Meh! Can't win them all!

I'm going to Australia

2007-04-02T15:52:00.000+12:00

It is nearly easter! I like easter a lot! - I think I like it cos it means holidays! Isn't that terrible, it should be a time to remember Jesus dying and resurrecting, etc, but I just want it for the holiday it gives me!
Not that I'm complaining about having a holiday, but does the rest of the world think that this is the only possible time in a year that I can think of Jesus dying on a cross for our lives??
Ah well, I'll enjoy my holiday!

I'm going to Melbourne for 2 weeks! Yay! : )

Post no. 50

2007-03-20T16:04:00.000+12:00

I wasn't going to post today! I generally don't post (as ppl may have noticed), but then I saw that this would be my 50th post!! Wow! I've had a blog for just over 2 years i think, and all I've managed is 50 posts! : )

Oh well!

Last night me and Nicky delivered muffins to some boys, they were really good muffins! : ) Nicky made them, they had caramello chocolate in them! So good!

I like God! I think this year he is going to teach me more about time management!! I currently have 5 hrs of uni-contact hours and 8-10 hours of work (on 3 different days at random times). Considering these are the only things I have to do each week, I seem to have absolutely no time in my days!! Ok, that's not true, currently I'm not doing anything - I'm procrastinating going home cos i know I have to cook tea tonight! : ) But generally, I feel like my days just disappear and I'm rushing round trying to get stuff done - like heaps of Spanish homework!! Oh well!!
I guess really uber-organised people would have no trouble fitting themselves into my time schedule thing while also accomplishing a million other tasks!! But, I'm just not like them am I?!! : ) Oh well!! I think I'll just have to learn!!
I think it probly helps to add to that-that when I have heaps of free time it all gets taken up with nothing and i end up not doing anything, but if I'm real busy with not much free time, I can get everything I need done! - How does that work?!! : )

Ok, I'm going to go home now and start getting ready to cook tea!! I'm cooking schnitzel! I like schnitzel, it's yum! -and it's red meat, yay, which I think I need more of cos otherwise I get too tired!! : )

out of blogger darkness

2007-02-15T13:14:00.000+13:00

Hello world
it's me again, i have returned!

Yeah, so, lack of posting over summer, it just happens!!

I'm back in Christchurch and I love it!
Different things in Chch:
-our flat has been painted- weird colours that don't quite work together
-we have a new shower, but unfortunately the same old shower head
-I signed up to gmail
-there's 'girly' things in the windows of the old suva st flat when i bike past
-some friends have moved away, but lots are still here

: ) oh i love Chch

What did I do over summer:
-work
-Christmas/New years =fun
-road trip
-work
-cell groups
-Parachute
-had a marvelous summer

Snippets from working in Frankton (lower SES area in Hamilton):
- walking down the road with a weird guy walking behind me singing 'look at the window shopper' - and then singing most moves I made - kinda odd, but amusing!!
- asking a workmate where the nearest park was -she looked at me and said there were car parks everywhere. When i clarified that I wanted a park with grass and swings, she looked at me disbelievingly and told me I wouldn't find one in Frankton, and what would I want a park for when I can sit nice and safely in the staff room!
- my personal favourite - you know when at the end of serving a customer you say something pleasant like 'have a nice day' or 'enjoy your weekend' etc etc, this old man looked at me with real conviction and said in a meaningful voice, 'May you survive.' I was stunned, I didn't know how to reply, he was so serious and really meant it! I don't know what he wanted me to survive but I think he didn't hold much hope of my surviving it at all!! : )

Anyways, would be awesome to catch up with people now that I'm back!
Please give me a txt or something if theres something going on, just hanging out's good!! : )

exams are so nearly over!

2006-11-02T10:55:00.000+13:00

I have one more exam left - it's on Saturday, and it's Spanish! I like Spanish so hopefully it'll be fun!! My goal is to try and do the exam in under 2 hours, which is hopefully possible!! I did the last on in an hour - but seeing as this one has a lot more material and all the ppl who possibly needed the whole 3 hrs last time have most likely not continued with spanish - i think it will be harder and probly take more time to finish, oh well!! Anyways! After that i'm free for another summer - well, until I start working anyways!! : )

I'm going home in a week and a half, I think I'm looking forward to it, I'll have lots to do when I first get there so it's good that I'll get a bit of a break here before i go up!! : )
I'll miss Chch tho! - but if ppl are coming to Hamilton or anything, I often try and catch up with them - which is kinda amusing, cos I see ppl all year, then when it comes to just 3 months apart, i don't want to be away from them, and organise to see them!! Humans are such odd creatures! : )

me again : )

2006-10-18T12:13:00.000+13:00

Life is fun...I like it!
...most of the time anyway! (except when you have to study)

Anyways, yeah, so bout this studying...it's 1/2 way thru study week and I've barely even started studying! Aargh! I want to study, I just don't. Why am I so good at procrastinating??

Last week was such a nice week! Good way to end uni!! I had an exam last Thursday too - probly the most fun exam I've ever sat and ever will again! - it was an open-book crossword!! Yup that's right!! And it's brilliant cos when you're getting the answers right they all slot in together -just like in a crossword out of the newspaper-but more fun cos you technically have all the answers in front of you somewhere in your books!!!! : )
We had a waterfight on Saturday!! It was a really good day for one too!! It was real hot and sunny! There was only 4 of us but we made use of waterguns and buckets and drinkbottles and hose! Fun times!!

I've been hanging out with church ppl (from my new church i go to) a bit which is cool. For Ruth, I started going to Hornby Presbytarian thru a guy from soccer. Christian circles are small, it's brilliant!
I obviously must be needing to study cos I'm posting! I'm sure I mainly post when I've got stuff I should be doing! : ) OK, enough procrastinating - i think i need to have a stern word with myself about this lack of study! (I like the phrase 'stern word' - it sounds authoritative!)

The last month and a half : )

2006-10-02T11:15:00.000+13:00

Ok, so over the past month and a half, whathave I been up to? I thought I'd treat you all to an update! : )

August -holidays! They were awesome!! I went home for about 10 days to lovely Hamilton. My mum turned 50 so that was fun - cos turning 50 means you get to celebrate and have ALL the family at your house at once -I love it!! : ) (I don't want to be 50 yet at all, I just like the celebrating with family part)! : ) We had a real awesome time!! It was good!

September - I turned 22, and my Grandad died - all on the same day. Yeah, so instead of going back to uni - I was off up to Gisborne for the funeral. It was very very sad. I cried lots. Me and my dad and my 2 brothers and 2 uncles played Grandad's favourite hymn, it was arranged specially for the funeral. That was hard to play but we all managed somehow. Death is strange huh!?
Anyways, the rest of September has been taken up with uni mostly and some socialising on the side. Somehow managed to change churches, wasn't church-hunting or anything, infact was quite happy at Ilam, I just started going somewhere else. We got a flatmate for next year out of it though. so that's cool!! : )

Now it is October and I am slowly becoming myself again - I find that death-stuff really knocks it out of me and I'm just not myself for a while afterwards, you know how it is!!
Anyways, that's the life of Hannah for a while - not very exciting huh! Oh well, I had fun! : )

Stay tuned...

...(actually that's probly not such a clever suggestion cos you never know how long it'll be before I ever get round to posting again!)

This sounds familiar

2006-08-15T13:50:00.000+12:00

If anyone's bored this Friday night at 7.30 and wants to do something different:
my bands doing another concert!! Woop woop!

It's at the Salvation Army Citadel on Durham St in town, at 7.30pm
and (unfortunately) costs $15, we tried lowering the price but it didn't work!
It should be a really fun concert tho -it's Jazz music and there's a awesome singer coming (she came to the last Jazz concert we did too and she's brilliant)!!

Anyways, if you're keen... send me a txt and i can try and hook you up with some tickets!

insert title here

2006-08-10T14:17:00.000+12:00

From my sociolinguistic lecturers mouth, a slight slip of the tongue and she decided to go with it!!
: )

"Everyone has access to at least one engineer.
Everone should get their hands on an engineer."

I like my lecturer. I like engineers too : )

2006-07-26T13:25:00.000+12:00

Here's something I've been thinking bout recently -and if anyone's out there and wouldn't mind sharing their thoughts it'd be much appreciated!

ok, so
- I've been thinking bout guys and girls and the signals we do and don't send each other. So far my conclusions are that girls are really confusing and I don't understand them so i'm not at all surprised that guys don't either!! : ) heh!

From my experience as a girl, I find that if I like someone, i generally try not to let it show - either to the guy or to anyone else - I think that's probly linked with a fear or rejection or something. I don't know how successful I am at it or not.
A response i've had from a guy is that guys are similar.

This makes life confusing cos then you don't actually know if someone likes you or not and you end up not showing someone if you like them or not! Confusing!! : )

So, girls what do you do to show a guy you like them??
And guys what do you do to show a girl you like them?
And is there anything you look for or notice in particular bout the opposite sex that makes you think they might like you?? : )

Things I have learnt

2006-07-10T10:18:00.000+12:00

I figured I've learnt some things so I'd write them down somewhere!!

* I'm not normal - according to a lovely lady I know - who then told me she was worried about me and listed reasons why I wasn't normal, she was all seriousness too!! funny : )

* The computer screens in the dock are really shiny and you can see your reflection in them - kinda scary!

* There's lots of dodgy words out there that everyone seems to know, except me - so I don't understand some things which everyone's all laughing at! But thankfully I have a friend who I can ask all these wonderful words to!! : ) (But I'm not going to put those words on here cos that would not be cool)

* I can't handle as much alcohol as I thought I could! : ) - but I can still handle it pretty well though!! But I've noticed that bartenders and ppl aren't asking me for idea as much as they used to - so i must be looking older or something

* Apaarently, most ppl in the band I'm in think I'm a very quiet reserved person! I find that amusing! They all thinkg I'm really really quiet! Does that mean I've been 'hiding' myself or choosing not to 'be myself' when I'm round them?? i don't think it's that at all - but if they've got this view of me, does it then mean that I've decieived them somehow?? I don't know - but I'll just be amused all the same! : )

That's all for now - it takes me a while to learn new things!

trust

2006-06-20T10:12:00.000+12:00

After reading Christina's post, I came up with this thought and was amused by it so thought I'd post it on my blog!

Ok, so here's my random thought:
* I think I'm a very trusting person to a certain extent, but then i don't let people get too close cos i don't trust them. As soon as I think someone might be getting close, I try and back out.

But then comes my lovely flatmate Nicky, and I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not yet, but I trust her a lot. It's real uncertain territory for me to trust someone so much, but it's kinda cool, but scary!! : ) (ie, she knows lots about me that I would normally not dream of telling people, yet she knows- only little things, but still.)

Weird huh!!

Is it a natural human thing to not be willing to trust people?? Maybe it's cos I'm making myself vulnerable to others.

study week

2006-06-15T15:19:00.000+12:00

I don't know why I still have this blog but i do, I feel like it needs to be there somewhere whether I use it or not!!

This week so far I haven't done much study! Ok, so it's thursday now! I did 1 1/2 hrs yesterday morning - and i mite do a bit tonight maybe! : ) Why can't I study?? In a weird way I do actually kinda like studying - well, if I enjoy the subject, i quite like just taking my time to go through all the things we've learnt. But I'm currently not doing that!! And I know that because of it i probly won't get as good marks as i could - but i don't really care as long as I pass!! : )

heh

what a confused little place my brain is in!! Oh well, i'll get there one day!
where's there?

I think I'm sick and should stop writing nonsense now!! : )

It's not Christmas yet

2006-04-28T13:18:00.000+12:00

I came into uni this morning, not particularly excited about starting the pile of work I had, but then I heard something which totally brightened my day!! Some random guy walking behind me was quite happily whistling 'Jingle bells!' How cool is that, the verses and everything! I had a big smile and was almost happy to be working!! : ) Thank you Mr Jingle-Bells-Whistler!!

In which nothing flows coherently

2006-04-05T15:30:00.000+12:00

Holidays are in 3 days and I like that!! : ) Holidays are good!!

I just finished a test (listening comprehension in French)- it was really bad and i laughed!! - what else can you do!! hehe!! : ) Good thing that one wasn't worth much!! : )

I went to yoga yesterday, yoga is the most relaxing exercise I think i've ever done -I highly reccommend it!! You start and end the session with just lying on the foor, relaxing! Brilliant!! : )

That's about it, my brain is not having a 'let's flow nicely' day, this is rather normal, but even more less flowly than normal!

Oh, and one last thing!! Dancing tomorrow night at uni!! More people should dance!! Dance should be a way of life! How fun would that be!! : ) I would be ecstatic!! (ecstatic being the only word I could think of to replace 'in heaven')

Watch this space...

2006-03-10T11:05:00.000+13:00

More advertising...

If anyone feels the need to get a bit of culture in their life, and has a spare $10 and nothing to do next Saturday night (18th March), then I have a solution for you (assuming that the above was a problem!) : )
The band I'm in is doing (another) concert. It's called Just Brass - well, it is a brass band. Anyways, if anyone's interested at all I can get you tickets, you can also buy tickets on the night ($12 I think) and through ticketek ($14), so if you're considering it then I can sell you tickets for only $10!! Yay!! anyways, yeah, it might not be your thing but you'll never know till you try right? -well, i like it all the same!! For more info - txt me or something. : )

Mexico

2006-03-10T10:51:00.000+13:00

I love being a student! I love being poor! (and I will probably wish to retract that sentence at some point during the year!)

Me and my flatmate were talking last night about culture and society etc, (this conversation came from my reading Andrew's posts on related stuff and Francie's sociology-type lectures that he's got at the moment). Anyways, we were talking about comfort as well, and how he learnt that comfort is the lack of feeling, and we strive to be comfortable, cos if we are we can escape the 'real world' for a bit and just pretend life doesn't exist! (Tangent sorry).

Anyways, what I was thinking of when writing this post - is that I don't want to have so much money that i can provide for myself lots of luxuries so that I can live in comfort. I think there's so much more to get out of being less well-off than there is being affluent (not speaking in terms of education, etc but life stuff that actually matters). Not having money all the time means I have to just make do with what I've got, and it also means that if me and a mate want to go do something fun, we often end up taking a picnic somewhere or doing something that doesn't cost much and we have a great time!! Being poorer means I bike places (out of neccessity)- which is much better for me than driving! - and you walk a bit too!!

Right now I am being thankful for not always having money to get what I want. I'm sure I'll learn more being poorer than I would if I had money!! : )

Much ado about nothing

2006-02-17T14:57:00.000+13:00

Hi,
sorry it's late notice, but of anyone's keen to see Much Ado About Nothing, some people are going tonight. Starts at 6pm at Mona Vale and is $10, bring some food for picnic tea (wow, i am fully turning into one of those people who goes places and has picnics, oh well, it's all good!)
Yeah, so if you want to join us, I shall see you there!!

It should be good - it's Shakespeare!! : )

smells like rain : )

2006-02-09T14:54:00.000+13:00

Christchurch is wet, rainy and cold! When did that happen?!? I left Hamilton yesterday in the nice warmth of a summer day - to arrive 2 hrs later in Chch, where it was raining and quite a bit colder!!
But it was definitely very nice to be back!! I'm loving it!! Just being back in my flat again, in my room and seeing people I haven't seen for ages, including Helen who is staying at my flat!! Yayness!!

Today I needed to use the internet, so I walked to uni (my bike has a flat tyre and our tyre pump is broken!) It rained and rained and was real windy, but I had my big umbrella so it's all good!! Since I've been here, though, it's cleared up outside. So I might go home soon!! : )

I don't want to complain about the weather, I actually really enjoyed walking to uni in the rain - even laughed a couple of times!! It was fun! And another great thing about sad weather is that you can put on snuggly clothes (but not for too long cos then it does get kinda cold!!)!
I like being back!! It's all so nice and familiar and wonderful!! : )

summer's really only just beginning, silly weather patterns and all!! : )

2006-02-06T23:55:00.000+13:00

The holidays are nearly over!! Sad, but also exciting cos it means I get to come back to Chch - which I am looking forward to!!

Yay for no more work (till next summer)!! : )
I liked my time working - I always do! But I always like it better when it's over- even though it means uni (but hey I like uni too!!)

One thing I noticed at work is how so many people, after I've finished serving them, say 'well done' or 'good girl'!! I don't find this insulting at all, but kinda interesting! I wonder if they think I'm still new at the job and haven't really counted money before, or if they thought I couldn't do it! Honestly, sometimes I think people are genuinely surprised when I actually give them what they've asked for! Strange, but I think it's cool too!!

Just cos other ppl did...

2006-02-06T23:51:00.000+13:00

You scored as Anthropology. ( I don't really even know what anthroplogy is!) : )
You should be an Anthropology major!

Dance 75%
Psychology 75%
Anthropology 75%
Sociology 67%
English 58%
Art 58%
Theater 42%
Journalism 42%
Linguistics 42%
Philosophy 33%
Mathematics 33%
Engineering 25%
Biology 17%
Chemistry 0%

a little rant : )

2006-01-07T13:49:00.000+13:00

I amuse myself! I find it kinda annoying in a way that my mum wants to renovate the whole kitchen cos it's just too hard to work in and it's not nice enough. All that really needs to happen is to get a new oven cos ours is always breaking! But mum doesn't want to get a new oven until she can get the whole kitchen redone - with a wall oven so it's easier to access!!
I'm sure most people in NZ (excluding rich ppl who've designed and built their own homes) would be glad to have our kitchen - it's not huge but it's big enough to do what you need to do in a kitchen!! How many thousands is it going to cost?? Of course it's in the long-term-ish plan to save up for it, but wouldn't it be better to just replace th oven and spend the money elsewhere? - like on people that need it?

I've also noticed that people are willing to work hard and save for ages to get that kitchen or house or other possession they've dreamed of - but how hard are they willing to work for God?? God could use th money so much better than we could!

I'm not aiming this at anyone in particular.
Of course I am much included in this - I'm sure I'd probably work quite hard if I was going to gain something from it, and admittedly not so hard if I wasn't. I know I need to change that.
Maybe I just don't have the whole dream thing to be surrounded by nice things when I'm older- I don't think I want a flash house with all the latest things to have in it. Maybe because of this I then can't understand why ppl spend so much time doing renovations that sometimes seem pointless to me, and end up spending thousands of dollars which could be used so well by God.

I don't know!

I guess that's what God's been challenging me about lately and I needed somewhere to write that down - and this blog was there, so yeah!

Sight of the day!!

2005-12-08T18:30:00.000+13:00

Old man, wearing brown leather shoes with black socks up to his knees!! Shorts were yellow and red checked - (the main colour was yellow, the lines were all red) made out of some thick material- and fastened with brown belt. Pale blue shirt neatly tucked into said shorts. Not much hair on head! But the finishing touch just had to be the huge glasses with the clipons - the ones that flick upwards - and he had them flicked up!! : ) Oh dear!

This is what I encountered on my trip to the chemist with my mum, she actually pointed him out to me - and as he had his back to me I took the liberty of forgetting all social politeness and just stared at him!! : ) It really was a sight! He was short too!!

It was quite funny! I shouldn't laugh, cos that's not very nice, but he was for real; - that is actually what he chose to wear today. He chose to wear it!!!! Nobody dared him to - it was of his own free will! (I'm assuming that - but I'm probably correct) : )

Hamilton, strangely enough : )

2005-11-30T22:45:00.000+13:00

Well, I've been home for almost 2 weeks so i thought I should post something!!

I've worked full time pretty much since I've been back!! I really quite miss being lazy!! - not working is so much cooler!! : )

I saw Harry Potter on Thursday night! Then again on Saturday!! I love Harry Potter so much!!! The first time I saw it - at one point in the movie I got a really massive fright! My brother (Sam) got kinda embarrassed - then told me to hit the roof for him while I was up there!! Apparently my fright had an accompanying scream-thing - which the ppl behind us laughed at - oops!! : ) Oh well!! The 2nd time I was prepared and didn't get a fright at all - but neither did anyone else in the theatre, which kinda disappointed me - cos i wanted to hear someone get a fright!

I went to Tauranga in the wknd for my flatmates 21st! Despite not knowing anyone apart from her family - i had heaps of fun!! The theme was cowboys and indians - so i went as a cowboy/girl! fun times!! : )

Every night I plan on having an early night - but it hasn't actually happened yet! (By early, I'm trying to get to bed around 10.30ish) - after midnight seems to be most common - which is then kinda annoying cos I have to get up early!! Oh well!! One day, I'll have a day off and sleep in!! Yay!! : ) (Weekends don't always count as automatic sleep-in days I've discovered!!) Oh well!!

Ok! I'll cya guys later!

* * * *

2005-11-14T15:18:00.000+13:00

I have a guitar. It is called Brutus.
I like it!!

I'm going home on Friday, but I don't really want to. I want to stay down here for summer! : )

I love Harry Potter!! The next movie comes out on November 24th. I am going to go and see it!! : )

5 jokes of awsomeness

2005-10-26T17:54:00.000+13:00

I found a website that had some 'bad jokes' so I read it and found most of them kinda funny!!

Here's my favourites from it:

What's yellow, lives in a tree and is very dangerous?
A canary with a machine gun.

What can you sit on, brush your teeth with, and eat soup with?
A chair, a toothbrush and a spoon

When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other?
There are more ducks on that side

What do you get when you cross the ocean with the titanic?
Halfway

What’s the difference between one yard and two yards?
A fence

Well, I thought they were funny!! : )

It doesn't feel like the end!

2005-10-14T13:38:00.000+13:00

... That's cos it's not! : )
The end of lectures for another year - I still have to return next year (and the year after)! : ) Though in a way, I kinda want to leave now! Don't get me wrong - I love uni, and I'm sure i can manage at least another year (or 2) here, but seeing as my life now lacks a bit of direction, I kinda want to just go out and do stuff rather than learn about it! I dunno!!

Growing up, I never really had any major dreams or desires or life plans that I ever thought would become reality, I just knew that I would grow up and life would happen, whether I like it or not! - I guess that's why I figured I was going to make sure I enjoyed life then- it happens once and then it's over, you get to decide what happens along the way and how you live!
And I knew I always wanted to follow God! : )

But now, I've started thinking about what i want to do - and most things seem like they could be reality if i made them happen!! I want to go out and do things, help the world in some way! Help the people around me! Not settle for a comfortable life. Live life in a way that is most pleasing to God - making the best use of my life (i understand that the best use of my life is going to be different to the best uses of others' lives!) But now my mind has opened itself a wee bit and I don't know which ideas are the best use of my life! I want to be bold in my endeavours, go out confidently into the world, step out on my own two feet, not have to rely on anyone but God!
But I'm afraid to do that! I think it's cos I hate being alone and am afraid that in stepping out I risk being alone! I need people round me!! : )
I guess I also know I was born to follow others - which probably sounds weird after what I've just said! While young girls may dream of being a queen or princess, I always thought it would be cool to be the queen (or princess') personal maidservant person! - weird I know! But that's just me! I really don't like the idea of me being in charge - for an hour, that's cool, but not for ages!! : )

So another year's almost over! : ) It went crazy fast! Another year closer to actually finishing a degree and unleashing myself on the world! heh!! : )

WWJGD? : )

2005-10-03T15:29:00.000+13:00

http://www.megspace.com/entertainment/dunno/wwjgd.html

Wow - I think I made a link!! : ) That's exciting!

Anyways - I found this site amusing! : )

I don't like thinking up these titles

2005-09-30T13:45:00.000+12:00

Anyways,
I was looking at the parable of the sower and his seeds. And somehow I got to thinking - it wasn't the seeds' fault where they fell, they didn't choose to fall on the road or rocky ground or among thorns or on good soil, it just happened. They were just thrown there. Only a few seeds fell on good soil - well, at least 3/4 didn't! Craziness!
I spose this means that of all the people we might tell about God - we can kinda know that maybe up to 1/4 of them will possibly listen and understand! Yay!! : )
But does that also mean that 3/4 of people out there are 'predisposed,' as such, to not hear at all?? Cos that's quite unfortunate for them! : )

My new discovery!!

2005-09-23T13:51:00.000+12:00

I love going to the beach at night with mates and a guitar.
(Not necessarily me playing the guitar - just having a guitar being played!!) (Mates are a necessity though otherwise I'd be totally freaked out being there all by myself at night!!)

Me and 2 of my flatmates did this last night, we/I played lots of guitar (badly- I really need to learn how to play properly), and we walked along the pier. At the end it was kind of freaky, cos it was like the world just stopped. The sea was black and the sky was black so you couldn't see any resemblance of the horizon, only the ocassional swell which totally freaked you out cos it made it look like the world's end was coming closer and closer to you - wierd, I know, but it was cool!! It was also a lot quieter at the end of the pier cos all the crashing waves were behind you and the sea out infront was all quiet!
It was possibly quite thought provoking, if you're that way inclined, but I personally was feeling a little spooked-ish by it, it was kind of eerie, we didn't stay long there, we moved back down the pier where there was noise from the waves and a bit more light!! : ) But it was still cool though!

But generally I was just amused by how much I really loved being at the beach at night with a guitar! I didn't want to leave. There was still much more singing and playing that could be done, it was kinda getting late, but as long as I was there with the guitar and friends, I felt like I could've stayed forever!!

2005-09-15T15:57:00.000+12:00

I've been helping a lady out with a research project lately and it's been interesting how I've gotten to know her, or at least feel like i have - in a week!!
It's crazy! i see her twice a day, for no more than 20 mins at a time, and inbetween doing the actual study stuff, we just chat about all sorts of things. It's quite cool!
Though it kind of has made me realise how much time i don't spend with my friends! The only people I see that often are my flatmates and classmates -and they're really cool, i love them all!!

I know there's not enough time in a day to do all that we want, but i know that some people i don't even see for weeks on end, and then I'll see them once and then not for weeks again!! It's crazy!! How are we sposed to keep up good friendships if we are never communicating with people!! I don't know - but somehow it works!!

Yeah, i don't think there really was a point to this post, it's just what i was thinking!!

Yay for big assignments being finished!! : )

2005-09-12T04:43:00.000+12:00

Yay!! I've just finished a big assignment!! It might be 4.45 in the morning, and I might still actually be at uni! But I don't care!! : ) At the moment I'm just feeling quite satisfied with my assignment! I even brought a stapler to uni so I can staple it before I go hand it in - I generally don't remember and then I'm I'm stuck with an assignment!!
Yayness!! It feels good!! It's worth 40%! It was quite big! Hard too!! I counted - & my whole assignment takes up 30 pages! that's a lot!! : )

Yeah, so that's my excitement for now!!

I think now it's time for me to go home to bed, cos even though I may not feel tired now - i know I'm going to feel it tomorrow, and probably the next day too!! : )

heh : )

2005-09-05T14:32:00.000+12:00

Thanks for all the hugs!!
I think I'm all good, I just had to take a moment to put life into perspective, which is hopefully where it now is!! : )
People are cool!!

: (

2005-09-02T14:27:00.000+12:00

2005-08-31T14:19:00.000+12:00

Words are not going to be able to do this properly for me!

I don't know how to link stuff, but I've tried - I' tried to link to Nathan's post.

http://nato.revise.org/archives/2005/08/25/fulfillment/

Ok, so let's try and evaluate hannah's life!!
Actual events - some good, but mostly crap! Some may be familiar with the experience of everything you know falling away from you just like that, there's nothing you can do to stop it, only watch it disappear. Your world as you know it is crashing down around you! - yeah so that's my current place in life.

But as for how I'm reacting to these events - it's probably not how one should react! I am still at some kind of peace, even still joking round with mates and laughing - when i should be upset and crying! I have happiness and it's not a facade of happiness cos i do honestly feel happy - and I don't know why!! But through the happiness I also feel like I want to just break down and cry!

I want to be in denial! I want to deny that anything's happening at all and that life will continue as normal, even though i know it won't! I know that change is good!

But mostly, I want God's will for my life. I want God to give my direction for my future, make things 'all better' - he's good like that!! I want what i do to be pleasing to God, I want to live for God. i want to be with God every moment of the day, for him to be the centre of everything I do.

Jealous Kind

2005-08-31T11:00:00.000+12:00

I really love this song by Jars of Clay! I don't know why! I just really love it!!
I think I don't understand it but that doesn't matter!! : )

Jealous Kind

I built another temple to a stranger
I gave away my heart to the rushing wind
I set my course to run right into danger
Sought the company of fools instead of friends

You know I've been unfaithful
Lovers in lines
While you're turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind
Love of a jealous kind

Trying to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
For solace in the shift of the sinking sand
I'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
Than be broken by a lover I don't understand
'Cause I don't understand

One hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
If I should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
And love that shames the wise, betrays the heart's deceit and lies
And breaks the back of foolish pride

Playing grown ups!!

2005-08-26T00:19:00.000+12:00

One of my friends is house sitting, so me, my brother, my mate's brother and another mate all went round for tea! It was yum! We had entree, mains and dessert then we went into the lounge with our drinks! This is what grown ups do and I really don't feel like a grown up yet! Oh well!! But I don't know if your average grown up then turns Celine Dion up really really loud and sings at the top of their lungs for half an hour!! : ) It's great fun - i highly recommend it! Along with some Moulin Rouge, Solace, Wash and Bebo Norman!! : ) Friends are great fun!! I love friends!!

I also really love the game minesweeper!! : )

Home sweet home : )

2005-08-23T12:06:00.000+12:00

Yay for being home! It's all exciting!! Though everyone pretty much was all in bed by 10.30 and I am left up by myself!! Maybe I should try these early night things some time - but why break a habit?! Oh well, I am currently watching Little Women, I like that movie! : ) I like being able to pick a random movie that I've seen lots of times before and just watch it again cos I can!! I like home!

But funnily I notice that when I'm home I act differently, I think I'm more demanding - which I find amusing! And I get frustrated kind of easily by little things that I'm not so much used to in Chch, eg, TV and the dog! I think my family watches too much TV, it annoys me so I go to my room and do something unproductive (isolating myself is not really a 'me' thing to do so that's kinda cool and wierd, as for unproductiveness, well, I'm a fairly unproductive person anyway!). And the dog annoys me cos he just does, but I'm gonna have to get over that!! Our dog, Gibson, is a huge attention seeker, and my parents are devoted to him and giving him what I think is way too much attention for a dog! I mean, he's a dog!!! (He also thought my foot was a toy and tried to bite it several times!)

I do love home really! And I always look forward to going home!! I also always get annoyed on my first night of being back - but I know I'll be fine tomorrow - unless of course they let the dog wake me up by jumping all over me! Grrrr : )

Hehe! I sound like a really angry/moody person, it's great!! I laugh at myself! Hahaha!! : )

Expectations and perfection -somehow combined : )

2005-08-16T17:59:00.000+12:00

I think I have some perfectionism in me somewhere - and that's scary, cos as far as I'm concerned, I'm anything but a perfectionist! : ) I'm not sure if it true perfectionism though, I don't know if I even know what that really is! And I only ever have perfect expectations on myself! I love the imperfections that other people have, -not to try and make myself seem better in some deluded way, I couldn't do that; but because imperfections are what makes people different and unique and loveable. I love imperfections! (in other people) But when it comes to my abilities and things I do, that's when I think I expect most perfectness from myself.
As I said though I'm not sure what true perfection is. Is perfection actually perfection? Or is it what we perceive to be perfection? (Does that make sense?) Cos I reckon those probably get distorted a bit in my mind! Then, how can we have a universal idea of perfectionism? : ) (I honestly should not try and think so much, it doesn't do anything for me!)

Now I'm interested to know:
Do other people expect perfection from themselves? Or more from others??

no title today

2005-07-18T12:48:00.000+12:00

We just had Navs camp in the weekend!! It was very cool!! Though I am now very tired and a bit sick, and my brain's not functioning normally yet!! Oh well!! : )
Tony and Paul organised cool piratey activities for Saturday! We had to make a pirate ship, make a cannon and test it (our teams cannon was a flop!), and then there was a treasure hunt which was highly great fun!! : ) So much fun!!
Yeah, that's about all I can think of at the moment! It was a good camp!! : )

Post

2005-06-22T14:35:00.000+12:00

I feel like i should post!

I'm going home on Saturday - so that's exciting! : ) Actually, it will be very cool cos I'll get to see m bestest ever mate in the whole wide world who I haven't seen since the start of January!! Yayness!! (She's a teacher in Australia and is also coming home for the school holidays!!) Yay for her!! : )

Yeah, so that should be good! : )

Last night, we watched the Phantom of the Opera!! Man I love that movie!! It is so awesome! That chick can sing - real good!! I love it!! I love musicals!! They're the best! : )

Music anyone??

2005-06-13T16:29:00.000+12:00

Today I am using my blog as a source of advertising space!! hehe!!

Ok: If you like jazz music and/or like brass bands - then I have just the concert you may be looking for! Canterbury Foundation Brass Band is doing a concert this Saturday (June 18th) at the Aurora Centre at 7.30pm. The concert is called "Just Jazz"!! Tickets are $10 student and $12 adult/not-student. Tickets are available at the door!

Yeah, so you should come!! : )

Love - hehehe : ) And I wrote a long post!! : )

2005-05-26T16:00:00.000+12:00

I've been thinking a bit lately about love (doesn't everyone, hehehe!) and I think God's telling me I should be loving the unloved. I was thinking about how I am so loved and that I know I'm loved and there's heaps of people out there who are either not loved or don't know they're loved : (
So my mission is to love people! Yay for stating the obvious!! : ) Isn't that what Jesus wants us to do anyways?? Love people?!! : )

But my question is: who do I love? That sounds silly, but I mean - if God wants me to love the unloved, how do I know who the unloved are, ie, who are the unloved that God wants me to go and love?? : ) (I sound confused)
Does God want me to go out to the streets of Christchurch and get to know the homeless people who look like they have noone to love them? I actually think God's maybe calling me to the unloved people i know. But again - how do i know who's unloved, or at least feeling unloved??
I love pretty much everyone I know - even if I don't always like some people (which isn't that often) I still love them!! (So, if you know me, then know you are loved!) : )

I can't just walk up to someone and ask "Are you loved?" I spose I could, but that's not really me! Am I kinda just supposed to 'know' maybe?? I've tried thinking about people i might accidently be making feel unloved, eg, by leaving them out in social situations or even just in life, or people in class who don't really hang out with anyone, or are there people at band that always just seem to be by themselves and not talking to others?? If I can think of people 'on the edges' as such, again - how do i know if they are unloved?? I dunno!! i think maybe these are the people I'm s'posed to go love!
But (there's always a but), what if in the process of loving these so-called unloved people in my life, I let slip the current relationships I have with other people, thus making these people feel unloved (assuming my love means something to them in the first place!)?? And what makes my love worth something/anything in the first place?? It's all good and well to say go love someone, but what makes it worth anything if I do love them??

Then there's the whole idea of the love languages thing - I think I'm words and touch! (Who would've guessed!?) I think it's important to connect with people in a way that means something to them (if you're trying to love them), but you have to get to know someone in order to even know what they appreciate. I think I don't make much sense, but that's ok, i know what I mean!! : )

If anyone actually read this far, yeah, this is kind of how my mind thinks, but not really - cos this has, in a way, been processed and my mind doesn't often get processed! : ) I think the point of me writing this post is possibly just to try and clear up some of my own thoughts, cos I get a bit confused when i try and think about stuff, so writing it down i guess helps me to see it and play around with my ideas a bit! I can't control my thoughts when they're in my head, but if they're on paper then I can see them and try and figure out what they're all thinking!! : )

My Seduction Style : )

2005-05-06T13:15:00.000+12:00

Yeah, this was kinda just funny! It cracked me up!! : )

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Flat warming

2005-04-29T17:02:00.000+12:00

My flat is having a flat warming next Saturday (on May the 7th) for anyone who may be interested. The theme is: brown (you have to see our flat to truly appreciate this)!! It's BYO.
If you would like to come and don't know where I live, you can text me -or anyone else from my flat - (if you have my number, and if you don't have it other people might so you can get it off them) and i can tell you where i live, I don't really want to put my address on the internet.
I think Ali's 21st is also on that night, so yeah.
I think if you're interested, maybe people are arriving around 8-9pm-ish. Yeah, that's about all

That's all I have to say for now!
Except - i'm going to a wedding tomorrow!! yayness!! It's the first wedding I've been personally invited to (ie, not as part of my family), and it's also the first wedding I will have actually ever been to as a guest! (I've previously been to a wedding where I was part of the people playing music for the bride to walk down the aisle - I don't think it really counts as going to a wedding if you're being paid to be there!!) But yeah, that's quite exciting!! : )

: )

2005-04-27T15:00:00.000+12:00

I just lost the game!!

I always lose the game, it's not fair!!
Ruth is also losing the game - both games actually!! hehehe : )

ANZAC Day

2005-04-21T23:56:00.000+12:00

Is anyone going to an ANZAC service on Monday??
I thought I would like to go to one, and if anyone else is keen -it'd be more fun to go with someone, not that it's supposed to be fun exactly, but you know what I mean!! : )

2005-03-29T12:05:00.000+12:00

I think I just did the geekiest thing I've ever done before! I thought I'd go in to the library to do some work - and it's closed! I don't know what this means exactly - I'm at a loss for what to do! Wierd! : ) Oh well!

Christchurch

2005-02-28T15:47:00.000+13:00

Yayness for being back in Christchurch! I'm liking it! I was looking forward very much to coming back down! Now I've been here for about 2 weeks and it feels like I've never left uni! Straight back into all that work! Crazy! But seeing lots of people has been good! I think I like living away from home - I can be selfish - that sounds really terrible - and it probably is, but when I'm flatting i generally don't have to think about what the rest of my family is doing, and whether or not we have anything we're sposed to be doing - I can just kind of try and organise my life - it's great!! Yeah, that is kinda selfish! Oh well! I'll get over it! : )

I just spent about 1 1/2 hrs looking on the silly databases for some really old journal articles and couldn't find them anywhere - then i looked on our course handout - that was sitting beside me the whole time and realised that pretty much everything I've been looking for is actually on reserve in the library! Oh well! At least I'm now refreshed in how to use the library databases again! It had been a while! : )

A new post

2004-12-14T22:59:00.000+13:00

Long time no post!! I've still been reading some posts just not commenting - cos I temporarily forgot my username ... and password, but that's alright!! Hamilton's good!! The weather is not cool!! It's generally cloudy and rainy here, we've had a few warm days though!! Oh well!!
I passed all my exams - yay for me!! I don't know my grades - just that I passed them! Such a relief - I seriously thought I was gonna have to repeat more papers!! : ) Yay for God getting me through them!! : )
How's people all going? Anyone coming to Hamilton?? I miss Chch people! So if anyone's passing through and needs a place to stay or anything - just let me know! - (c'mon it's free). Even if u don't know me that well - how better do u get to know some one than if u visit them!! (Did that just make sense??)
I have a job kind of, at a bank, but it's not as exciting as I think working at a rest home would be!! : ) Not the same rewards - emotionally! Anyone get what i mean??
Ok, I'm tired and not feeling like I'm making that much sense at all!! : ) But then that could just be normal!!
Cya

I conformed

2004-11-08T20:33:00.000+13:00

Hello,

Well, I guess I'm the newest conformee person! Yeah, I thought I might as well get me a blog!!
So yeah!! That's about that really!!
I don't know what I intend to do with my blog now that I have it - probably mostly comment on other peoples blogs that don't allow anonymous comments!! teehehe : )
Cool, I guess I'll leave it at that for now!! I think this has probably got to be the hardest post to write! I have no idea what to say - and it's all very unoriginal cos people always have a first post that say the same kind of things!! Oh well!! : )
Cya!